her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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