so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
