Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
