therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
