When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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