I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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