i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
