I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
