I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
