Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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