So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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