I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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