can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
