So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
