You really coming over, don't trick.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
