just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
