I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
