My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize