well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
