i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
