similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
