He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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