Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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