SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
