im six kinds of drunk right now
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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