am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
