i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
