Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
