she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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