i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize