I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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