How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
