just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
