"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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