i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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