I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
