peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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