I want to have your abortion
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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