just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
