man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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