Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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