I'm so fucking centered right now
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
