Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
