When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
