Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
