i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
