This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
