i just wanna soil my oats bro
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
