I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
