I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
