Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
