I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Randomize
