i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
