this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
