Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
