i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
