K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
