um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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