you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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