I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I need to calm my uterus...
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